Body. Still. Dealing. With. The. Trauma.

Breathe in, breathe out. *Twitch.* Breathe in, breathe out. *Twitch*twitch.*

Civil Procedure was supposed to be the hardest, it was supposed to be the most traumatic. I have never . I. Can't even put a full sentence together to describe the way I feel right now. Torts. There was something about break-dancing Elmo and Sara Bareilles "Love Song" started randomly playing on an iPod somewhere in the middle... I barely finished, I could have written for another two hours and barely covered everything, and this was a three-hour exam to begin with. This was the first time in my entire life that I felt like I needed to listen to death metal to calm down. Get that? To CALM DOWN. I only had one song that fit the bill, and I had that on repeat until I was able to chill out enough to put on Saint Radar. I could feel my chest shaking, but I felt like I needed to DO something, I just didn't know what. Turned out even doing a little thing was a bad idea. I grabbed the stairs instead of the escalator. Turns out doing that with legs still so shaky was a bad life choice. I was so shaken that, even though I'm not scared of dogs, on the walk home, a little bitty dog barking next to me made my jump like 3 feet in the air and made the hair on my head stand straight up. *twitch* Blargh!! There is no way to describe what just happened. I can only hope I showed I know enough to pass. Ugh. My brain (and soul) hurt.

(Moving on to things I got down the other day.)

I should have learned my lesson. I should have said no. I should have known better. I should have remembered how they make me feel.

So have I caught your attention yet? Let me explain:

I believe: I should not browse bumper stickers while I'm in a sad state and missing Iowa. "This will only end in tears." Yeah, that's all.

I believe: That police should be able to write citations for massive public displays of douchebaggery. No sir, pissing off the oncoming drivers by crossing when you know the light will change soon is not right, however, asshole driver, neither is laying on your horn for more than 5 seconds. In my world anyone who honked a horn more than the one tap would be liable for a $75.00 fine. Oh, and the jackasses that honk as soon as the light turns would pay $200 per offense. You're five cars back, let's not try to get the guy in the front hit by a bus.

I believe: Finals have turned me into a shallow shell of what I normally am. I just burst into tears in the middle of a study-break game because I ended up yelling "That was not a bargained-for-exchange, dumbass!!" at the game. Just thinking about it makes me tear up again. I should not find that as sad/hilarious as I actually do.

I believe: Again, stress is not at the front of my head, but apparently it is in my subconscious. I have been having the most f'd up dreams. I can't remember them now, but dreaming in that detail for four nights in a row is unusual, I'm pretty sure. Oh, and an interesting note: I dream in color.

I believe: That the moment I take that first swig of the 99 Blackberries will be one of the most joyous occasions in my entire life.

"Book I got drunk out." LOL I still remember this text, but apparently, it's more common than I thought. A'la the BBC, 'book' may be recognized as 'cool.' Not in my book, but it was good for a laugh. Or two. Or ten.

No quotes from law school this day, seeing as I haven't set foot in there for quite some time, but I never cease to have sufficient sources for quotes. I'm sorry if they don't entertain you or move you as much as they do me, but this is my thing. You wanna see your favorite quotes? Make your own board. Good, now that we have that cleared up...

"It is my belief that every girl has a base-level of crazy. There are other factors to consider, like how smart she is, her sense of humor, whether you can actually stand to be around her, and looks. And usually if a girl seems to have it all together, there's usually one of those things wrong with her. If not, there's some sort of hidden crazy. Which leads me to believe you've got a club foot or something."
"I assure, I do not have a club foot. However I may have more crazy, I've got this paranoia right now.... *I go into the explanation*"
"You couldn't have made it easy, could you? Nothing like 'I'm afraid the purple lobsters from the Middle East are going to eat me.' No, that is a completely legitimate paranoia, it even makes sense to me, you need to confront this dude. So damn, there is *nothing* wrong with you. Why must you be the perfect girl?" ('Tis a true shame I stopped liking this guy long ago.)

"We enter the world alone, we leave it alone, and everything that happens in between we owe it to ourselves to find a little company. We need help, we need support. Otherwise we're in it by ourselves. Strangers. Cut off from each other and we forget just how connected we all are. So instead, we choose love, we choose life, and for a moment we feel just a little bit less alone."