It should feel more like Christmas

It doesn't quite feel like Christmas yet. I guess the fact that I'll be going back to effing Boston in less than two weeks now is always in the back of my mind, and that's putting a damper on things. But I don't want it to. I want to be the crazy, fun chick that had no worries, no regrets from this summer. We'll see.

The trip home happened after a late Thursday night after my last law school exam. Horrid. Drunkenness, wonderful. But, you'll enjoy this list of things, maybe, maybe not.

Reasons contributing to my drunkenness
1. Sober since October.
2. Taking swigs of 99 Blackberries in between nearly every drink of beer for the first two.
3. Adding 99 Blackberries to every mixed drink I got thereafter.
4. 6 beers.
5. Jell-O shots. I don't know how many. I had forgotten about the Jell-O shots.

Reasons I know I was zonked.
1. I thought I knew which train to get on. Unfortunately, Adam had to come running after me to stop me going on the one going the opposite direction.
2. I called several people and spoke in an impeccable Australian accent. I do that when I get drunk and I'm in the right mood.
3. I don't remember showering, though there is no chance I didn't.

Thursday's drunkenness was well earned though. After the barrage of tests all of us that went out and to the parties afterwards were ready to get the memory of them gone.

But I'm finally home after quite a trip. I recounted the whole thing while I was waiting in Atlanta. Observe:

Yay I hate AirTran Airlines. You will see why. I don’t hate the pilots, but the people in charge are really running kind of a sham when you think about it. I have not heard a single flight that I could have gotten on that they were not asking for people to volunteer to give up their seats and take a later flight. So, in other words, even though they aren’t supposed to overbook these flights, they are doing it badly (up to 20 people in one instance) on every single flight.

So the story starts in Boston on the 19.

I get to the airport with plenty of time to try to get on an earlier flight to Atlanta. No such luck. So I’m stuck in the airport, watching the snow start to come down, wondering if my flight will even leave that night. Now, I had already planned on spending the night in an airport somewhere because I knew this storm was coming, but I thought that once I got out of Boston, I’d be ok. More on that later. So the people who were on my flight were watching the time of our flight slowly get delayed, first 15 minutes, then a half hour. The flight before ours was cancelled, and the one before that was already a detour from another airport that had already been snowed in. Basically, these people were coming from West Palm Beach, heading to somewhere in upstate New York. When they were nearly there, they got word that the airport was closed, so they rerouted to Logan, where they were stuck. AirTran wasn’t telling them ANYTHING. What finally happened was they were sent BACK to Palm Beach, where they would try again later.

So we were all on edge, will it go out, won’t it? Finally our plane gets there and we do get on. This is about 6:45 or so. The flight attendants knew we were already on edge, so they tried to make jokes, like when we pulled away from the gate, the lights went out, they told us that the reading lights were above, push them once to turn on the light, the second time would turn off the light, and if we pushed it a third time we would be ejected from the aircraft. Then we get told we would be de-iced and then we could go. The whole process would take about 45 minutes. OK. Fine. Then the fun starts.

The pilot told us that it was taking longer than usual to get the de-icer truck there. Then even longer. Then “I don’t even know how to say this.” Aw crap. They had sent the truck, but no-one to de-ice.

So, let me get this straight. You sent the truck, but not the guy who actually knows how to work the sprayer. No, no, I swear, it makes complete sense to me.

So we get de-iced. Eventually. Then, “I really don’t know what to tell you at this point, folks,” we get told the runways are closed, they would have to plow them and that we would have to get de-iced. Again.

Luckily we had started a kind of camaraderie you only find in situations like this, there were quite a few college kids going out that night. The blonde boy across the aisle stole my heart when he started singing “Always look on the bright side of life,” from Monty Python. All the people around us were pretty cool. And the pilots realized we’re getting antsy so they invite us up to the cockpit to show us what’s going on. It was pretty cool.

So if you can believe it, we did get de-iced again, and we did make it off the ground. Once we were reliably in the air, the entire cabin started clapping and cheering. Amazing. But once we landed in Atlanta at 1:30 am, we had been on that plane for over 6 and a half hours for what was supposed to be a 2 and a half hour flight.

I got a scandalous text and drunken call from this one guy, long story, at 2:30, then actually got to sleep. I’m one that usually CANNOT sleep anywhere other than my own bed, so the fact that I slept close to 6 hours while people filled in the chairs all around me is quite impressive.

Tried to get on the first flight to Moline, but of course they had overbooked that one, so no luck, but I did have a confirmed seat on the second one out at about 3:30. I’m not giving that seat up for any amount of money. I am never flying AirTran again. I should have never cheated on Northwest

Also, realizing I hadn't deleted my googlespam for awhile. I had no idea there was such a pressing need for me to "perform" on Christmas Eve or to make my penis stronger or to show my sweetheart how much I love 'heer.' This is just disturbing. It should not be legal to tout your product as being used by Santa Clause to f*** housewives and their daughters. Although I'm slightly amused, as always. Goodbye spam. At least I don't have to get through the gmail goggles to get rid of them.

Merry Christmas!!!

There is life outside your apartment

Besides law school, that is. Yay!
Have any of you ever heard of Improv Everywhere? It's a group based in New York that does random things in public places, and I "joined" the Boston spin-off. Sunday was the first event. It was wonderful, but, I'm not going to tell you about it here. I'm going to wait to tell you about it when I actually talk to you (those of you that I will eventually actually talk to or care enough to ask). Because right now I either need to just enjoy the feeling it finally gave me (joy, humor, comraderie) and keep it to myself, or talk with people (yay social interaction). So now it's in your hands.
But, because of this experience, I am now entrusting all of my major life decisions to K. She is the one who told me I *must* go. And it was wonderful. So, if you want something, you must go through her first.

But law school. Yeah. I think a girl from my class put it best when she saw me as she was getting off the train and said, "Don't you just hate your life right now?" Yeah.

Teehee. I just put my new books for next semester and realized I now have the "Model Penal Code." Dirty. Too many jokes to even know where to begin. And yes, for being a law student my mind is still that immature.

Other than that, not a lot is going on. I'm having a very hard time focusing on anything right now, kind of a rough week, but it is for everybody because it's finals. I fly out on Friday, but I have a very distinct feeling that I may be spending the night in Atlanta because of the ice Iowa is supposed to get. Tomorrow I break my sobriety, it'll be amazing.

< 4 days till AMES!!!

Body. Still. Dealing. With. The. Trauma.

Breathe in, breathe out. *Twitch.* Breathe in, breathe out. *Twitch*twitch.*

Civil Procedure was supposed to be the hardest, it was supposed to be the most traumatic. I have never . I. Can't even put a full sentence together to describe the way I feel right now. Torts. There was something about break-dancing Elmo and Sara Bareilles "Love Song" started randomly playing on an iPod somewhere in the middle... I barely finished, I could have written for another two hours and barely covered everything, and this was a three-hour exam to begin with. This was the first time in my entire life that I felt like I needed to listen to death metal to calm down. Get that? To CALM DOWN. I only had one song that fit the bill, and I had that on repeat until I was able to chill out enough to put on Saint Radar. I could feel my chest shaking, but I felt like I needed to DO something, I just didn't know what. Turned out even doing a little thing was a bad idea. I grabbed the stairs instead of the escalator. Turns out doing that with legs still so shaky was a bad life choice. I was so shaken that, even though I'm not scared of dogs, on the walk home, a little bitty dog barking next to me made my jump like 3 feet in the air and made the hair on my head stand straight up. *twitch* Blargh!! There is no way to describe what just happened. I can only hope I showed I know enough to pass. Ugh. My brain (and soul) hurt.

(Moving on to things I got down the other day.)

I should have learned my lesson. I should have said no. I should have known better. I should have remembered how they make me feel.

So have I caught your attention yet? Let me explain:

I believe: I should not browse bumper stickers while I'm in a sad state and missing Iowa. "This will only end in tears." Yeah, that's all.

I believe: That police should be able to write citations for massive public displays of douchebaggery. No sir, pissing off the oncoming drivers by crossing when you know the light will change soon is not right, however, asshole driver, neither is laying on your horn for more than 5 seconds. In my world anyone who honked a horn more than the one tap would be liable for a $75.00 fine. Oh, and the jackasses that honk as soon as the light turns would pay $200 per offense. You're five cars back, let's not try to get the guy in the front hit by a bus.

I believe: Finals have turned me into a shallow shell of what I normally am. I just burst into tears in the middle of a study-break game because I ended up yelling "That was not a bargained-for-exchange, dumbass!!" at the game. Just thinking about it makes me tear up again. I should not find that as sad/hilarious as I actually do.

I believe: Again, stress is not at the front of my head, but apparently it is in my subconscious. I have been having the most f'd up dreams. I can't remember them now, but dreaming in that detail for four nights in a row is unusual, I'm pretty sure. Oh, and an interesting note: I dream in color.

I believe: That the moment I take that first swig of the 99 Blackberries will be one of the most joyous occasions in my entire life.

"Book I got drunk out." LOL I still remember this text, but apparently, it's more common than I thought. A'la the BBC, 'book' may be recognized as 'cool.' Not in my book, but it was good for a laugh. Or two. Or ten.

No quotes from law school this day, seeing as I haven't set foot in there for quite some time, but I never cease to have sufficient sources for quotes. I'm sorry if they don't entertain you or move you as much as they do me, but this is my thing. You wanna see your favorite quotes? Make your own board. Good, now that we have that cleared up...

"It is my belief that every girl has a base-level of crazy. There are other factors to consider, like how smart she is, her sense of humor, whether you can actually stand to be around her, and looks. And usually if a girl seems to have it all together, there's usually one of those things wrong with her. If not, there's some sort of hidden crazy. Which leads me to believe you've got a club foot or something."
"I assure, I do not have a club foot. However I may have more crazy, I've got this paranoia right now.... *I go into the explanation*"
"You couldn't have made it easy, could you? Nothing like 'I'm afraid the purple lobsters from the Middle East are going to eat me.' No, that is a completely legitimate paranoia, it even makes sense to me, you need to confront this dude. So damn, there is *nothing* wrong with you. Why must you be the perfect girl?" ('Tis a true shame I stopped liking this guy long ago.)

"We enter the world alone, we leave it alone, and everything that happens in between we owe it to ourselves to find a little company. We need help, we need support. Otherwise we're in it by ourselves. Strangers. Cut off from each other and we forget just how connected we all are. So instead, we choose love, we choose life, and for a moment we feel just a little bit less alone."

Two in one day? And law school substance too? Lucky you!

So the topic for this one is *gasp* actually law school again. The whole reason I started this thing way back in, well, August, but let's not go into that.

Today, Tuesday, December 9th, 2008, was my first law school final. You've heard about the lead-up to it, how I'm not that nervous, and luckily that continued on. Whatever happens, happens, right? Just be as prepared as you can reasonably be, and just rock it. And besides, it's Civil Procedure, what most of us consider to be the worst subject, so we're happy to get it over with.

Hang out with some kids from class beforehand across the street, get into a dirty conversation about Cheetos and Cheez-its (ask if you... no, on second thought, don't ask), and try to convince this one girl it is time to stop studying. Get into the school, figure out which room we're supposed to be in, and surprise of all surprises(!) our professor was actually our proctor! Good thing, I promise. He's a fun guy, and as Ed put it, he could be like our own little mnemonic device, just look at him and try to remember the pain inflicted as he was teaching us this stuff.

Hands out the test, and guess what? Due to the limited number of spaces for the first name, I'm back to taking tests as "Christ" Ketelsen. I thought they fixed that on bubble sheets. I can deal with Christin, but geez, really? I feel like I'm back in elementary school taking ITBS again.

Explain the rules of conduct... "It's my reading of the bathroom rule that as there's one guys bathroom and one girls room, that one of each can be out of the room at a time, we just don't want any conferences in the bathrooms." (I really don't think I'd have a problem going into a guys room though. It wouldn't stop me. Not that I'd seriously consider cheating, I'm just saying...)
And begin... "Oh, by the way, I do carry a gun." (seriously, that's the last thing he said before we could open the exam)
It was so wierd. When we started, it was completely light out, nice day. As the test wore on, it was interesting, if not exactly helpful, to notice that the sun was fast sinking and by the time we walked out it was night. Full on night.
And while I felt amused and fairly relaxed during the test, apparently my body still knows stress is present. Hands shaking a bit, reminding myself to "breathe, just breathe," and with like 2 minutes left that the professor announced, someone sneezed, and I physically jumped in my seat. How fried was I?

Well, it's over. And I could have been completely and utterly justified in breaking my sobriety afterwards. But no, I'm keeping my word and being a good girl. I felt good going through the test, it was the most exhilarating brainrape, mindfuck, what have you ever, but I really have no idea how it went. I'm glad we don't get our grades back until after break. That way I can be schwasty all during break, then fly back and THEN find out there was no point in coming back. Meh. Not really. The only one that really matters is Torts. Friday.

Arrivederci.
10 days till Iowa
13 days till Ames!!!

It's hard to explain to a non-believer

If you don't see the simple, clean, soul-clearing beauty of winter and snow, it's a lost cause trying to explain it. I've only met a few other people who appreciate winter and the snow as much as I do. I'm not saying I like extreme cold every single day, I'm as happy as the next person to curl up on the couch with a hot mug of cider. I'm just saying that as soon as I pull into the drive at home, even though it'll bee midnight (or later) I'm gonna throw myself in the first snowdrift I see.

I'm going to live in my Carhartt wool cap. aka: the only thing from the lost summer that was even remotely good or of any value.

It's kind of entertaining looking at facebook statuses of the people from law school as finals come 'round. Part of it makes me say "yeah, I know what you mean," part of makes me feel better, like "yay, I'm not the only one procrastinating like my life depends on it," and the rest, well, just makes me sad that I know what they're talking about.
Category 1's: "taking it one day at a time til the 18th... then all sobriety ends." "I just want to take this final already..." "brain can't take anymore!!!!!!!!!!"
Category 2's: "definitely going to start outlining civ pro today, no more procrastinating." "
Category 3's: (ask if you really want to know, it's sad) "might die from the exertion."

And while I'm still not feeling the complete stress of others, I'm pretty sure my body knows I'm supposed to be. I can't sit still, I can't pay attention, my stomach still lives on TUMS, and my mind is always swimming, I'm sure I couldn't get to sleep without my happy little friends. Oh, and my roommates must think I'm crazy, going around muttering things like "personal jurisdiction, 1404, 1406, venue, freaking International Shoe..." Oh great, now you guys think I'm crazy too. Brilliant.

O_o
"Because... I love you."
"Well that's too bad."
~Gossip Girl
:'(
Why do I suddenly feel more like Blair than Serena?

I think I'm going to start a new segment in these. The "Current Procrastination Obsession." Last time it was the Cake Wrecks blog. This week...

OMG I am in LOVE with the angry video game nerd. I don't even know video games much (none of the guys really take the time to teach me *gasp, a girl* to play) and this guy is hilarious. I should REALLY be studying, but watching him rant in various and obscene language about different gaming systems and games while drinking beer is well.... a much better activity. Some of the sequences get a little cheesy, and at times it sounds like the stuff coming out his mouth he's just saying for the shock factor, but nonetheless, even factoring in the adoration I have for nerds in general, this one takes the cake.

Look, he even has a theme song! -->

"He's gonna take you back to the past to play the shitty games that suck ass. He'd rather have a buffalo take a diarrhea dump in his ear; he'd rather eat the rotten asshole of a road kill skunk and down it with beer. He's the angriest gamer you've ever heard, he's the angry Nintendo nerd."
*Note: I only watched the ones that were about 8 minutes or longer, so no guarantees on the shorter ones.
Oh man, I'm so going to hell for enjoying this episode more than any other.

FML: Or as law school likes to call it, Finals

I am currently soliciting donations for my apparent study period-induced hibernation food groups: Water, ramen, clementines and cookies. Oh, and candy canes, of course. How can an "Elf" lover forget her candy canes?

I want Scott Steffens. Right. Now. I will fly him out personally if he'll just do that thing he does. I'm spending more time on the floor than I'd like because of him. (Completely non-dirty, even though it completely sounds like a "that's what she said" moment. I apologize.)

Impressively I got like 5 hours of concentrated studying done on Saturday before my self-induced ADD kicked in (and people started messaging me). Now I just have to go over the notecards I made. You know how when we were younger the flashcards we made had like one word on one side and a short sentence on the other? Yeah, no longer. One side still has the basic one word, the other side? **TEXT** full. It sucks. But it's working.

Sometimes you run across things in taking things from class notes that make you wonder if the professor was on crack while he was writing it. I have no idea what the following text is supposed to say, and I can even see the rest of the context it was in. Sigh...

Below is a picture of my "motivational wall." I know it's sappy, and you're supposed to make your own luck and motivation blahblahblah, but sometimes we all can use a little reminder. Besides, most of these aren't the unconditional motivations, like "you can do it!" or shit like that. They recognize that we all have inner battles and all of us have our bad days, but give it time and good things will happen, and you can't get through something if you give up. I'm picky, and these made the cut. So be it. (for those of you seeing this in the facebook context, if you go to the actual blogspot site and click on the picture, it gets bigger and you can read the actual words)


On a slightly law-school-related note, I'm still deciding whether to use purposeful availment principles in determining if I should kick someones ass. There's definitely availment, whether it was purposeful or vindictive enough to warrant the ass-kicking I want to give is debatable, however.

It FINALLY snowed!!! But I'm not sure how happy I am about it. It's just another one of those things. I can start to like something, (in this case, Boston) but I'll still despise it because it's keeping me away from something else (Iowa). But it was snowing big flakes, it was pretty, I even went out in my PJ's (who am I kidding, I live in my PJ's on the weekend, no joke) and stood on the deck watching. And to make the morning (it's still morning if you wake up before noon, right?) I got my winter Dutch Letter care package from Grandma. This could be bad.... ;-)

Best. Procrastination. Website. This. Week. I could not stop laughing at the Naked Mohawk-Baby Carrot Jockeys to save my life. It's been incorporated into my desktop background, so even in the heat of studying, I'll have something to laugh at. http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

Let's start the final countdown, shall we!?
12 days till my inevitable hangover/I fly HOME!!!
15 days till Ames!!! OMG so close!!!!

Apparently this week is the week for confessions

The property professor felt the need to cross himself before he started class. Brilliant.

It seems as though I'm not the only one who thinks law school has made us a recluse. One of the main topics at lunch today was that we have no life (really) outside of school. We wake up, go to school, go back to the house, shower (most days), sleep, wash, rinse, repeat. The lunch we did was admittedly likely the most social event of our respective weeks. None of us would admit it if the others weren't as well, but we're pretty lonely here. Studying isn't exactly a social activity, and it's so hard to meet up with people even after about 6 at night because we want to make sure we sleep and have travel time. So here it is: as glamorous as law school may sound, it's lonely. Don't know what I'd do without my friends and Iowa to look forward to.

"I want to be Bobrowski. I want to be so good at my job that whatever I do they won't fire me." ~Ed
"I heard he married one of his students."~S
"Yeah, I heard that too!"~C
"How does that even happen?"~S
"**You can come see me at *private* office hours**... If he weren't so old now I could totally see it." ~C
"I can see it, I suppose, although he needs to do something about those eyebrows."~S
"**No, ya see, they tickle!**"~Ed
"Oh my gosh, so, so dirty."~C (and yes, the comment was intended to be fully as dirty as the entire table took it to be)

The lunch (from which the above quote came from and which was basically a law school bitch rant, so we brought up every other thing wrong with school) also gave completely new meaning to the bumper sticker that says, "If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit in the corner and talk shit about other people with me." So much trash talking going on, good to know we can still act like high-schoolers. Still haven't surpassed the level of drama I experienced earlier this year, but it was fun to talk about bad outfits and professors relationships instead of *twitch* personal jurisdiction *shudder*.

On a completely unrelated note, I was called a brunette (with a little bit of red-head thrown in) for the first time in my life, and this was completely un-prompted. I think it makes me happy. While everyone still seems to be going lighter, I'll go against the crowd (once again). Wow I'm stubborn and obstinate. But you know this. Hopefully you love (or have accepted) this or else why are you still reading?

So Victoria's Secret Fashion Show? So much fun, but so late at night. If only I could actually afford to shop there.

I find it sad that I'm using purposeful availment in determining whether to kick someones ass right now. I did not need THAT. Not now. Not ever. Yay, cryptic girl strikes again!!

I've realized that I should probably factor in my inevitable hangover into my packing expectations for the Friday after finals, huh?

"Let me tell you something I've learned... every day you work for somebody else is a day you work for somebody else."~Bobrowski (wow, do I detect a theme to this post?)

"The mentoring you get in a law firm, particularly a small firm is that the senior partner had a stack of papers on the corner of the desk and he knows it's gonna bite him in the ass one day and one day it falls over and he goes 'damn, I've gotta hire somebody.' So he hires you and you take the stack of papers and you go 'What the hell is this?' Hello mentoring." ~Bobrowski

"We had no idea what was going on, there were skateboarders coming down a hill and a car accident and a baby... I didn't even want to get that exam back, I felt so violated." Random 2L

""Why are guys such idiots?"
"If I could answer that I would NOT be in law school right now. It's either because 1) they think we're done talking and we're not, 2) they think we understand and we DON'T have a clue in the world what they're trying to say or 3) their head is in their pants.""

Wow this is getting long... but there are even more stories!!

In Civil Procedure our professor asked us to submit questions, and said that we could submit them anonymously if we wanted. Well, he put a note up on the Elmo, one that resembled an old-fashioned ransom note, with the letters cut out of a magazine, ya know. And he said, "This was a bad attempt at an anonymous letter. As much as I appreciate the attempt at anonymity, the person that wrote this note handed it to me. But I will treasure it forever."

"One of my favorite quotes is from A League of their own. You know how they say 'There is no crying in baseball?' There is no crying in Civil Procedure."

"You need injury, duty, breach, and causation comes in two different flavors."

Giving in would be weakness, right?

But I want booze!!!!!!!!!!!! That is all.

Oooooooo. I finally got a "good point."(!!!) Now it wasn't for anything in class, unfortunately, but I went up to ask a question on a concept our Civ Pro professor brought up in class. (Certification, where a court can ask another court what its ruling would be on the case. I thought that it would violate the case and controversy provision in the Constitution, and he agreed and seemed impressed and gave me a "good point.") That's the Holy Grail for law school students. Not a fail.

Learning I cannot in all seriousness imitate the Boston accent. Which is a good thing, but it's so bad when I try. I'll tell ya what I think it sounds like, just ask.

Sigh. I feel like I'm far too relaxed going into the last week of classes and finals. And whether this is good or bad, I have no idea. Yes, I feel the stress and I know others are mega-stressed and going at it full-bore, I have just reached the point where I find amusement in everything, where I just have to laugh at all the shit going down around me. Or maybe it's just that I'm finding it really, really, really hard to care about anything right now.

I am a complete hypocrite, and I am truly sorry for that. However, that fact is not likely to change soon.

My MP3 is still telling me things. At least this time the song makes complete sense. Meh. (and no, it's not "it sucks to be me." finally...)

Wow, ummmm when the music stopped for a minute I could hear Pedro in the other room singing. He, aside from the American Idol reject, may the most tone-deaf person in the world. Ouch, is painful.

GRRRRRR!!! I did NOT need all this stuff coming up the week before finals. And no, I can't tell you what it is. N-, no-, no, noooo I don't care who you are, I can't tell you. And that sucks. Maybe it'll all come out in the wash and then I can tell you, but woot for other people's dealings being able to drive me up a wall.

No quotes. Deal.