Just want to curl into a ball

Let's see if I can work this out:
First, late night, lost track of time and finally logged off at 4am... oops.
Then dreary day, and just felt like crap.
Very confused as to why I just wanted to curl up into a ball and shut out the world, then I remembered as I picked up the phone.
Today would have been my grandpa's birthday. It's still not hit me that he passed away in November. I mean, I saw him in the hospital in Rochester and I knew he was sick, but he was fine this past summer and then, well, he's gone. He's the one who was always the most encouraging, the one I was closest to, and the one I most wanted to make proud when I went to law school all the way out in Boston.
*mope*
But I couldn't stay that way, so I pulled out a friend and we rocked out some guitar. It's been awhile since I played that long, and it made me happy. Now to do some reading while playing. I'm not attempting much else.
Wow, I even suck at expressing how crappy I feel. I fail at life.