All my ex's live in... Iowa. fuck

Where to start? Well, I guess it's safe to say that this post is going to be completely vague and go in lots of circles, and isn't going up til the people who want to know or should know what's going on do. I should also say that due to the very private and secret nature of this one, I've decided to stop importing to Facebook. So if you read this, you are now in a very elite category of people who... actually care!

It all started in November 2007. Got drunk at a tasting at Cyclone Liquors, with a friend, ran into a guy from class, shit went down, I ended up hating what I had done (and you can all reasonably guess that that was, technically I said yes, but I wasn't really ready) and so I stopped calling, stopped answering, I handled it horribly, but the only way I knew how. I knew I wasn't ok, but as long as I avoided the whole situation, I was ok. I even got everything out of my system by venting *everything* to a very close group of friends, so I thought I was progressing.

Then last Monday night. Random guy stopped by my friends room to see what the ruckus was about. It took my about 4 seconds to realize it was fuckface, and only 2 more seconds to retreat to the connecting room and commence freak-out.

I should be over that, I should not have freaked out like that, that was nearly 2 years ago. But that started and ended so badly and abruptly and I was not prepared to see him that I just didn't have time to rationalize my reaction. And now I saw him more in 2 days than I had in a year and a half. And now it sucks, because I have to look down the hall to make sure he isn't there or prepare myself for the first contact. I need to get over it. Not forgive, but move on.

Speaking of moving on. Anybody here go back home for their hometown festivals much? I have been there most years except last year, when I didn't go home from Christmas to August. Then this year. Then this year...

K, or any other members of the SATC group, if you haven't gotten what I will refer to as THE story, stop reading. If you have, then continue, this is just a recap.

You know how we all have that high-school fantasy, the one where you dream that it would come true, but you know it never will? And you also know how at the beginning of a night where you plan to get drunk, you make the joking statements about what you might do or wish would happen? Well, both kinda happened.

My oldest friend S and I were just going to get drunk uptown at the Calamus Days street dance. What else was there to do? We pre-gamed with some strawberry schnapps and lemonade and some Bud Light, which I usually hate, but in cans, was not so bad. Head up town, on the way there, we're talking about where some of the people from HS were and who they were dating and so on... I had a huge crush on a guy back in HS and it was pretty certain that at some point he would be uptown too that night. So I made the joke that "Can I just get drunk and makeout with a [insert last name here] twin?!"

The night wore on, we continued to drink and drink and get rained on and drink and dance and the band was pretty good and we ran into people we had hung out at on the 4th of July and eventually we made our way into the only bar with the rest of the drunks. Ran into another classmate of ours and did some shots, at one point I had both [insert last name here] twins around me and obviously flirting. When we finally got thrown out of the bar, the twin I liked way back (we'll call him... Brian) was standing next to me and rubbing my back and all that, saying that he might be in Ames the next day for a "HVAC seminar". Asked if I wanted to "take a walk," and I said yes, but trying to say, I hope you don't think this is going where I think you think it's going. Down the block he took my hand, and kissed me. Actually fantastic, I have to admit. Made our way to the back of the Fire Station and the LP tank. Lots of standing in water, as the rain had puddled there. Long story short, shirt was off, etc, he definitely tried to get me to sleep with him. I don't want to degrade him at all, but there was begging and sweet talking and I could tell that he still actually wanted me. But I couldn't. This actually goes back to fuckface.

Because I was so incredibly drunk that night, I've made it a rule for myself that the first time with a guy will not be when either of us are drunk, and "Brian" and I were smashed. I tried to tell him that, and if things had been different, it might have happened. But not then. I hated myself for fuckface, and I didn't want to hate myself for "Brian".

But I'm leaving the best part for last, and yes, I knew this the whole time, and factored in to my decision slightly. He has a, ah, very long-term, live-in relationship. She has at least 2 kids, not by "Brian", but she now has one on the way that she says is his. He says he doesn't quite trust her, but yeah. So I made out with him. I didn't let him cheat. And it's complicated... oh so complicated...

But moving on, even with the title of the post... Last summer's psuedo-ex. Has a new lady friend. Who is 18... and a half. Like, she introduces herself as that. I'm sorry, but if you feel the need to introduce yourself in half years, you're just not quite ready to level up yet. But this has had the happy coincidence of ruining any chance he had or wanted with me.

Which probably happened awhile ago anyway. But the reason I know now is because I certainly have my sights set on another. And this time, finally again, for the first time since "Brian", a guy I like is actually older than me. And this time, by quite a bit. I don't want to get into it quite yet, one, because I don't know where I'll be in a month, and two, because I don't want for it to seem like it's retaliatory for the 18 1/2 year old. But it's fun, we've become grand friends. And what's it mean when you catch him just looking up at you for extended periods of time? huh, another question for another night, I suppose. Because this post is already far too long.

g'night!

Tired of my hair color

Guys, if you read this, you will be bored shitless. Except for the end. Near the picture. Skip to there. Don't say I didn't warn you...

Yup, you guessed it. I dyed it again. Now normally, this is just something I do every once in a while, ya know, to change up the everyday. But in this last one, I think I may have realized something.

Each time I go to dye it, it's at the start of something new. Whether it's a new semester, a new school year, or I'm just wanting to make a good impression, I dye it for occasions. Starting my junior year of college. I mean, I did it in high school when I was trying to change my image a little, but I stopped. I've always gone red. Well, the first time wasn't my choice, but I still ended up loving it. It was for a conference where we had costumes. Our school's theme was X-Men, and I was Jean Grey. Red hair. Bright red hair. So that was really the start of my time in Res Hall government. The *start*. Then beginnings of semesters, like with Dirk Deam and I felt different hair would make me more confident. Not so much, but yeah. Beginnings. I held off on it in the fall semester because I hated where I was. I think I finally dyed it when I accepted that I was stuck there for the year. Then, for Spring Break. that was a stupid reason to dye it, but none-the-less. Things were going to change one way or the other and I knew it. Now, they changed for *the other,* but still.

So this last time. I must really be wanting to make changes. Well, I've already changed one thing about my life, and I think I'm finally accepting things. That and one of my friend got me on this kick and now I going to try to reach that goal, and going for dark hair is one step closer. And dark. Not red/brown/auburn. Brown. Love it. But, off the tanget, I dye it when things are new, or when I think things are going to change. And right now, I kind of like this change. Or maybe I'm just being a girl and I will have a completely different mindset next week. I hope not. Unless action is taken, I don't think it will be different. Besides, I know what (who?) I want, so I shouldn't worry about others. Although this may be a try to differentiate myself from others. I've known that part for awhile. But on the other side, I was just tired of being a dirty blonde. There are too many of those around. The only thing is that I really need to tan for it to look good.

So yeah. Told you boys (if you actually got to this point) it would be boring. Girls and their hair, very personal.

In other news, (not very interesting news) I'm jacking up my work out. In 2 days I upped my total time by 2/3. Now instead of 3 sets of 8 minutes on eliptical with a set of 20/10/20/20/10 in between, now it's 5 sets of 8 with the same after. Woohoo. I can feel it. After the second day of ramping, I HURT, but I'm better. Musculosos I never knew existed are coming through, which is awesome...

Uhm... yeah. Saw Transformers at the midnight showing! Awesome!!! I want to see it in IMAX now, but no-one wants to go with me... sad day.

The pits are now warm enough for daily swimming!!!

Went shooting with one of my friends the other day. AR-15. Did pretty well. The first two times I got all my shots on the target!!! Couldn't tell after that because of sharing, but it's going up on my wall...



Soo tired now. Going to bed.

Another day, another pint night

I feel as though I should update this, but I'm unsure as to what to go off on. No real rants. I'm pretty content with how things are going right now, I suppose.

Hmmm... We went and got fireworks. Road-trippin' it. It was a lot of fun, actually. Just me and a few guys. That day ended up being next to perfect. After getting home, we went swimming out at the Pits, shot off a few fireworks, had hotdogs and s'mores over a fire, so so perfect. I wish I could keep days like that in my pocket and hit "replay" when I have a sucky day. Like last night.

(K, if we have not hung out when you go to read this, stop, because I really want to have storytime with you)

Before I begin, I should say that I have been sick the past couple of days. So I've been loading up and doubling up on cold medicine. Which I knew would probably affect my ability to keep up my normal level of drinking, even after not drinking for a few days. Little did I know. Little did I know.

Went to Olde Main with A, T, T's friend, M and J. After one drink, I was pleasantly tipsy. After two drinks, I was a bit drunk and should have stopped there. After 3 drinks I was drunk, after 4 drinks, I was blitzed beyond belief. I remember nearly everything, bits of it are coming back a little bit hazily, but for the most part it's there. But I was horrid! I was doing things I never would have imagined I would do, even drunk. I know I get in a "let's tease people and freak them out and pretend to stop breathing and hide" mood when I'm drunk but what the fuck I was an annoying sonofabitch!! And I was talking and sharing and Hell, he nearly got the *fuckface* story. Very few people know that story, it's not a pretty one. It needs to be told at some point, (along with the fun stories of my ex's and psuedo-ex's(Oh, that's the fun one!)) but a controlled, non-drunk environment for goodness sake! And now I may have screwed things up there, because God knows things went to hell and back once. Meh, at least I didn't take my top off. But I did have an interesting run-in with an officer as I was crossing the street to my apartment...

But after nursing my slight hangover, I finally got back on the horse (and by horse, I refer to the elliptical and weights) and did my full workout again, after doing a half-assed one Monday because I could feel the cold coming on, and skipping Tuesday and Wednesday because I was sick. So that felt good. And swimming tonight, and I finally have food again because I got back to Fareway...

And, and. Guitar. I hate to brag, but I'm getting good. Now I have a lot of time to practice, I don't have work a lot, but still. Taylor Swift and Plain White T's are my staples for now, but I have a lot of the chords down. Now I just need to convince my friends who *really* play guitar to take me under their wing and teach me a few tricks.

OH. And yeah. Twitter. Yes, I'm on Twitter. I got it to stay in touch with a friend when I moved to Boston and my following is still not very large. But massive confusion ensued recently. I started talking to this friend who is still in Ames for the summer at least. Then this guy whose avatar looks a lot like said friend started following me. I thought it was said friend. So I start going back and forth with the @ replies to him and direct messages. Then, yesterday, thinking I was talking to said friend, started talking him into dollar pint night at Olde Main. Apparently, this was not said friend. I don't know who it is. But we're still going back and forth after I apologized and said I thought he was someone else. It seems he saw me at pint night but I was pre-occupied (what with the being blitzed off my ass and having my bra flicked) so he didn't come over, but he would still want to actually meet me. I am conflicted. Another time, another pint night, I suppose.

But I'm getting antsy. I know why, and it's not a good why. But it's the why every girl gets in the summer. But we'll see.

My guitar is on fire.... not really

This post is going to be fairly short, and fairly trivial. More about going ons than rants or anything. I'm quite boring as of late.

I just got a guitar. And JUST got. This is late Wednesday afternoon. I got it at about 1:30 this afternoon. I've practiced and napped. That's all I've done. It's a solid mahogany-top acoustic Alvarez folk guitar, and it is gorgeous. It's not your typical guitar color, it's much richer, darker color, and it's pretty. It sounds gorgeous too. When I heard mahogany makes guitars mellower, I wasn't sure about that, but it sounds amazing, to me at least. I don't have any pictures of it yet, but I will soon. I even just about have a name for it. I thought it fits, and I think it still does, but I'll take suggestions.

So ah, this whole work out thing. I like it. It's not like I don't have proper motivation, it feels good, even though it does hurt. Some mornings my body hates me. Like *really* hates me. Well, it's more of throughout the day it hates me. Like Monday. After not working out really all weekend, except for golf on Sunday, I woke up late (10:30, when I was intending to already *be* in the workout room) and so I pushed it to get there asap. So the whole day I was tired and sore. It was like "You stupid whore! You get me up and push me for an hour right out of bed? When your *aunt* is visiting?! Then you expect me to *like* it? You stupid whore!!"

And in other, even more recent news, the oven in our apartment set on fire during a self-cleaning cycle. Luckily we were all in the apartment at the time, and got the fire extinguisher out and everything.

Also, a few other things have made me very happy in the last couple of days, and you can ask me about them if you want, and I'll tell you, but vague-girl returns!

Not all silences have to be awkward

Oh this one will be fun. To write, at least, maybe not to read.

But apparently my tweets and posts have been so completely cryptic that my best friends can't figure them out. Which is great. I love dropping hints, but not saying anything outright until I figure out what is going on. But to K, I say, I promise, I will fill you in on Saturday. And to D, well, you were way off, and eventually, as I said when I figure it out, you will know what I meant. But not yet.

So to continue with my commentary on my drunken life...

In the past 8 nights, I have only not had a drink on two of them. Let's see, the last blog seemingly ended on the recap of Wednesday so... Thursday, I think, it was either Thursday or Friday that I just stayed at home with J, went to Welch Ave Station with D, B, K, and K. Ended up chatting with I, then KC stopped in before heading out of state for the summer. Was made to try a Zombie, lots of rum, not much else. Saturday, T, K2 and S came over, then W and C came, we played drinking games, they spent the night.

About C. I really don't know what to think. I've really waffled about whether I wanted to meet her or not. But I kinda had no choice. It was fine. We got along, which was a little different from the random dreams I've had where I've called her really-not-so-flattering terms, it was fun, W got "a little drunk," and we had fun. Best friends anytime soon? I think not. But able to co-exist within the same room without having the space-time continuum explode? Yes, that is possible.

T is teaching me guitar... well, letting me play his prized electric guitar at least. I wanna be able to bust out some Bo Burnham songs pretty soon. Nothing fancy. Just some chords. Baked cakes, went to S and C's to hang a bit, then to WAS. THREE TIMES that night. I got waved in twice. I think this is a new record. I've only been back for a week and I'm already getting waved in by the new ID takers, awesome!!!

Birthday party Monday. Chill, get burned by the sun a little. Tuesday, got stuck at Buchanan for a few hours because of the rain before I just said screw it and walked home. You know the intersection just outside of Element? Yeah, knee deep. I could have swum home and been less soaked.

I don't really know what to say. The days are kind of blending together. Which is nice, but really disconcerting at the same time. When I was at school, I'd know the specific date and day, and I knew what I would be doing. Now, I couldn't tell the date without a computer or calendar. Ok, it's the 27th. Good, Now I know.

Also, I want it to be sunny again. I want to go swimming and tanning and it's just been cold and rainy and not conducive to either. I tan really, really well, and I haven't had time or the incentive to tan in so long. I think I just want to prove I still can. I like being pale, but I'm ready for a change.

I've noticed a phenomenon lately, and I'm trying not to become a part of it. Really trying. How people fall back into things they said they wouldn't, or start things they said they would never do. This seems so weak to me. Come on, if you make a decision, you have to stick with it, not just go for the instant gratification. If you say no to someone, you should really take time, not just wait for them to give you puppy dog eyes. Wait for them to grow up, not just until they realize they want to get laid again.

Teehee, more crypticness. Nothing more of meaning to say.

Ames, sweet, home

I've been working toward this post for a very long time, and I don't know exactly how to begin.

I'm back in Ames, and I could *not* be happier. So far I've seen nearly everyone I've wanted to, and I'm sure the others are soon to come.
But I'll start at the beginning.

The drive from Boston was long, but good. I needed something completely mindless to help get over the past month of law school studies. I drove all the way through New York and from Cleveland all the way home to Calamus.
Got some unpacking and repacking done at home. Haircut, etc. Then got out to Ames on Tuesday. Got everything moved in in about 2 hours and everything organized and put away by the next day. Win

Tuesday night was great. Went out with the 2 Ks for dinner and beer and crepes (or creeps, as we eventually referred to them as) and talked and had a great time. After that, met up with M and some friends and headed to Welch Ave Station.

Next day, went to the beach with M, J and S, so twice, yeah, but so fun. I might have gotten a bit burnt, but so worth it to relax on the beach like that. I can't wait til the water is warm enough to go swimming in.

Went to visit D in Buchanan. Planned the night at Olde Main. They said there would be random people there, but none of that could have prepared me for that.
Got there, was part of a beer down before a group of about 15 or more showed up with D. I was overwhelmed for a bit, but then settled in and had a rock-awesome night. Great beer, new friends... I won't say much here, because that might give something away. But I had a great talk with I, he had some good things to say, even though I already had my suspicions. And if you think this is about you, it likely is, but ah, until you tell my anything at all, I'm gonna go of what other people say, because it's all I'm getting at this point.

I also have some ass-kicking to do. It's going to be awesome.

So I met some great new people, and I think it's going to be a great summer so far. People have said they miss me, which is great. And ya know, things could get interesting too, which I'm looking forward to.

That's that, with regards to Ames so far. Very boring, but a bit of an update at least. The following is just a rant.

So I saw this bumper sticker. It said, "When 2006 is grown and gone, 2007 will party on and 2008 will think they're cool but 2009 will always rule." I beg to fucking differ. These kids... are just kids. I know I really shouldn't be talking, but I feel that as a proud 2004 HS grad, that these kids have no idea what they're in for. We've paved the way, we've rocked it out, and we're going to make hell for them. Break a few hearts, face a few hard times, see your friends fall and rise, go balls to the wall and not see your results, love and lose, have fun and rise above it all... then we'll talk.
Kids.
Yes, I know I'm friends with some of these kids, and I wouldn't trade some of them for the life of me, but some need to grow up. Open up. Man up. Etc. You get my vibe.

More later, I'm feeling lame now.

WOOOOHHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

That was playing over and over and over on the Wednesday before the final!!!

Now the last final is over and I can forget about the tests for about 3 entire weeks.
I suppose I forgot to mention some of the things about the contracts exam. Now that I remember them, at least.
I did, in fact, use "My internal thesaurus is broken," on the test. I fixed it later, but the quote remained.

But now. I'm done. For 3 months.
I'm still in shock and I'll admit, still quite drunk from the afternoon at Sidebar with the rest of the gang. I'm a little bit more of a lightweight than I came into law school as. I had 1, 3 beers, plus one plus two modifications of the specials.... 6-ish drinks and I'm quite gone. I'll remember all of it, and it was great to talk drunkenly and, well, some interesting things with the other drunken guys at the bar, but I'm ready to get back home. Everybody is so encouraging and excited for everybody, whether they want to transfer or not.

(I had a very ranting paragraph right here, but since I've done some investigating, I'll leave it out til I have more proof of possible... whatever they may have done. Wanna see it? Tell me, I'll send it to you. It's very cryptic, you won't get much out of it, I'm telling you. It was just one of my signature rants.)

So yeah. A kind of short post. Once I find my camera cord, I'll post pictures on fb. And if you're not friends on fb, you really probably shouldn't be reading this, so fuck off.

1L YEAR IS DONE!!!!!

Unfortunately Lawrence v Texas made what the school is doing to us legal

I wish I weren't so tweaked out on school and caffeine. I can have coffee every once in a while, but I get all twitchy. I kinda want some now though, now that you mention it... hm... starbucks....

So Contracts was today.
Yup.
I think I did ok on the essay. But on the multiple choice... I could have shit on my test and maybe gotten more right. I hadn't even heard of one of the words on there. Ridiculous. So yeah. I'm completely exhausted right now, but I need to do laundry and finish packing. I really can't wait to go, but I still have crim between me and freedom.

Don't look at me like that. Haven't you ever seen a chick do pilates in a library before? Yep, I've taken to doing stretches and random ab mini-workouts for study breaks. Gets the blood flowing well. I really don't care if I'm "that friend." You would lie on the floor and do stretches too if you were in the same position with nowhere to go for weeks on end, with no weekend breaks...

And it occurs to me that while I don't think I've changed, I've gone through a lot of ups and downs in the last 9 months. Well, I'm not sure ups and downs is the right term, but something like, becoming unsure of myself, designing my life around what other people were doing or thinking in relation to mine... I have notes on my finals study material from contracts last semester that reminds me of what a silly girl I was being back then. But the bitch is back, and I'm taking no shit. I don't care if I'm "that friend," the one who goes a half-hour out of her way just to get free beer, the one who will put the guys in their place, especially when they deserve it, the one who will lie on the library floor and do pilates, the one who will flip from classic rock to Bo Burnham in the same 15-minute time period, the one who will shoot a gun and show up all the guys, and the one who would rather talk shit with guys than drama it up with chicks (although it does seem to find me).

On a similar tone, there are so many inanimate things I would rather marry instead of a guy right now. Like, Pandora. My Caramel Latte. A piano. Monty. Don't judge.

I did a *ton* of packing on Friday night. I'm so proud of myself. Lots of vacuuming, lots of labeling, but I think I'm getting everything in the right place for this summer. Very stoked. But how everything is going to fit in the van is another question. I suppose once the shelf is taken down, it'll look a bit like less, but until then, my stomach does flops.

Oh, and apparently my body is anticipating the change that is about to come. Usually, after a big-ish change, I won't eat much for about a week. Like, moving back to school school sophomore year, moving to Buchanan, moving to Boston last fall AND coming back after Christmas break. Anytime I'm uncertain about anything. But I'm going into that mode *now*, as opposed to after I move. Very odd. I mean, I'm excited, I know I'll have friends there, but there are still things I'm worrying about. I mean, I'm at peace with the whole flaming disaster that was Spring Break, but I'm still anxious to see how the dynamic is. I don't know where I'm working yet, and I'm not sure which place I would prefer at the moment. I don't know how I"m doing on finals and whether I'll be able to stay in Iowa, as I'd like. I'll be losing my best friend and I *really* won't know when I'll see him again this time around.

I would like to revisit a procrastination "website" I probably talked about during finals last semester, but this time there's new material. The Angry Video Game Nerd. Still hilarious.

"If I were walking walking through the mall and I saw giant bouncing donuts and killer marshmallows, walking shoes and spring-jumping shoes, moon-walking shoes, paperbags with legs, paperbags with scary-fucking heads and killer towels, I think I'd shit my pants."

Random thoughts:

Apparently I can pull off pale. Who knew. I was always the one who could tan well without even trying. Now I find out that I *really* don't need to try. Wow. Go me.

Oh HEEELLLL no. They just gave an honorary degree to someone who can barely speak English!

You know, you can always tell it's been a long day when you go back to the house, whip off your pants and chug water.

The Final Week Starts

So I've decided to post after each exam. A rather arbitrary assignment of a task, but still, a set time.

This morning was property. And I gotta say, if there ever was a pleasant mind-rape, that was it. I have no idea how I did, but I finished with plenty of time, I don't feel anxious like I do about con law or Civ Pro, and I can honestly just leave this one in the past. No lying awake until 2:30 wondering how many points will be taken off for missing that issue.... not fun. But even with all that, I still feel like cuddling with my Federal Rules book. It might *actually* be the first long term relationship I've had in a while. I'm kinda hard to tie down, have you noticed? And I know, maybe not in terms of geography, but yeah, in the other sense. Grrrrr.... I don't know where I'm going with this so I'm just going to continue with my story.

So as we were walking to lunch I was a complete dork and was like, "In exactly 168 hours we will be done with finals!" Yeah, Dr. Waggoner from Soc made me appreciate the length of a week. Well, maybe not appreciate, I procrastinated back then too, I was writing frantically late into the night before that 401 paper was due. But at least I know how long a week is!...

So yeah. In my studies, I came across this paragraph I found amusing while I was reading back when it was assigned. Background is that apparently a guy was doing a title search on a piece of property, and the guy who was buying wanted the search to go further. Yeah, the lawyer was a dork and kind of a douche, but I want to be them:

Gentlemen:
I am in receipt of your letter of the fifth of this month inquiring as to the state of the title prior to the year 1803
Please be advised that in the year 1803 the United States of America acquired the Territory of Louisiana from the Republic of France by purchase. The Republic of France previously acquired title from the Spanish Crown by conquest. Spain acquired title by virtue of the discoveries of one Christopher Columbus, a Genoese sailor who had been duly authorized to embark upon his voyage by Isabella, Queen of Spain. Before granting such authority, Isabella, a pious and cautious woman, obtained the sanction of His Holiness, the Pope. The Pope is the Vicar on earth of Jesus Christ, the only son and heir apparent of God. God made Louisiana.

My next final is on Monday. Contracts. The first final that isn't open note or some sort of open book.
I don't have a lot to say this time. So yeah. Uhm... Less than 2 weeks til Ames?

*sigh* Some boys are just pretty to look at...

But finals leaves no time for that.
Eeebadeepaadeepbeeed. Ever feel like this? I just got out of my Civ Pro final. And I feel like I've been run over by a 747. Without the landing gear, and with spikes. I'm so physically exhausted and tired, and I did NOT have a monstrous headache when I went in, and *now*? Well, I've taken enough various painkillers to kill a smalll village, but hopefully it won't kill *me*.

But, guess what. I only have one more Sunday in Boston!!! Yet the end of finals seems like forEVER from now. But we're gonna go with optimistic.

More things I've learned in law school:

Come finals, many things are given up. A social life, for example. Sleep and hydration, however, somehow become vitally important.
Sometimes an exasperated sigh can say more than words ever could.
Just when you need to the most, you cannot for your own life read your own handwriting. (although, in my own defense, I know what reconnoitering means, I really don't use it in everyday conversation)
Finals, while for studying, has kind of made my entire life flash before my eyes. Who matters, who doesn't, and why things happen. How existential of me. (I swear I'm not emo, I just play one on TV sometimes.)
Everything from first semester (that's not used this semester) is GONE. I saw the words, respondeat superior and had *no idea* what they meant and thought I had a whole concept I had forgotten in Civ Pro and would have to learn again from the beginning before the test tomorrow. *headdesk*

Ugh! Right in the baby-maker. The school has the turnstyles you have to card in each time you go in the library, and every once in a while I move forward before it registers my card. It hurts. That is all.

And the title of this one? Actually true. There are just a couple guys in our class that are gorgeous, and while I rarely talk to them, and don't even study in the same room as them, it makes me happy when I see them.

And with the guys anyway, what is with it with guys picking up girls on the subway. I went on that one date with the guy I met last semester (we still hang out, whatevs) and tonight, I'm pretty sure this other guy would have asked me out or asked me to join if I had shown *any* interest in watching the Celtics game. Sorry dude, finals, and I really don't care. I literally asked, "What game?" We talked for a bit, so yeah. What's up with that?

And oh. dear. God. What is with the crazy porno spam I get in my gmail spambox? I don't even know where the random generators come up with this crap. I know I've gone on this rant before, but still, I highly doubt that increasing "sexuall" desire in women is for the "exercise of the deer." Unfortunately I've just emptied my spambox yesterday or you'd get some extraordinarily great tangent.

I have determined the perfect day will happen once I'm back in Ames. Ask if you want to know what it involves, or want in, but oh yes, there will be.... love.

One final note: I can't wait until "See you tomorrow" doesn't mean, "I'll see you tomorrow because I can only study at the library too. And I have to study if I want to stay in law school. Hence, I'll see you tomorrow."