Just want to curl into a ball

Let's see if I can work this out:
First, late night, lost track of time and finally logged off at 4am... oops.
Then dreary day, and just felt like crap.
Very confused as to why I just wanted to curl up into a ball and shut out the world, then I remembered as I picked up the phone.
Today would have been my grandpa's birthday. It's still not hit me that he passed away in November. I mean, I saw him in the hospital in Rochester and I knew he was sick, but he was fine this past summer and then, well, he's gone. He's the one who was always the most encouraging, the one I was closest to, and the one I most wanted to make proud when I went to law school all the way out in Boston.
*mope*
But I couldn't stay that way, so I pulled out a friend and we rocked out some guitar. It's been awhile since I played that long, and it made me happy. Now to do some reading while playing. I'm not attempting much else.
Wow, I even suck at expressing how crappy I feel. I fail at life.

Take no pictures, leave no evidence

So, in response to a request from a friend, I shall try to keep my blog updated yet again. I'm not saying it will be as extensive, funny, or frequent as last year, but I shall try. I dunno, this year has just been more of a "yeah, I'm in Boston, and I'm not thrilled, but it's better." Last year I was crazy homesick. This year, I've learned that my real friends will be there when I visit, and that makes me feel a hell of a lot better.

I'll start this attempt with a re-hash of this weekend. Some of it will go to facebook, some will stay forever here contained for those who already have access and to those whom I will allow to see it. Likely no boys. Unless, ya know, I'm over them or they won't talk.

Thursday:

Travel: Went to property, drug my two (yes two, don't judge) suitcases to class with me then took a van to the airport. It was super easy, and I'm happy I found that mode. Got my requisite Sam Adams and read Cosmo to wile time away before boarding. Flights were super easy. I don't care what you say, I fucking LOVE flying. I may not follow all protocol (I have my MP3 on during take-off and landing), but it's for a good cause (I listen to "You can fly" from Peter Pan during take-off). A little bit of a long layover in Chi-town, but it allows me time for a nice, relaxing dinner. Grabbed Whitey's Ice Cream with the parents when they picked me up. Then just sat around home talking, basically.

Comprehension: Made fun of my brother playing WoW, but I really can't talk. But noone in my family knows I played, and they never will. But ya know, it's kind of nice to not be such an idiot on something my brother is so into. I mean, he'll say "Uldar" and I'll ask "Uldaron?" and he'll look at me like I'm *crazy*, but at least I have a working knowledge.

Friday:

Enemy territory: Visited a friend going to law school at Iowa. Yes, I wore an Iowa State shirt. Had a good chat. It's good now, it's cute that he's asking for advice on what would be good for a first date. (Of course I had to tell him what *most* girls would go for, a cheesy movie and dinner doesn't always cut it.) But to be able to do that and not feel insanely jealous, is good. I liked him for the longest time, and I think I figured out why, but it still feels good to be friends and have another guy to go for advice. Maybe it's not quite to the full extent that BT and W are, but it'll get there.

Pumpkin up the wazoo: Got into Ames and got to the place I was staying. She made pumpkin EVERYTHING that night. Well, maybe not everything, but there was pumpkin everywhere.

The Hangover: Finally saw it. It was hilarious, as everyone said, but I need to buy it/see it again so I can actually use the references. Like "I want a lucky charm to take home with me! However, he need not be naked in my trunk." (The needing to be naked in my trunk is in direct correlation with how hot he is, lol)

Saturday:

The big game: Tried to get a whole shitton of people to go to Welch Ave Station to watch the Iowa State game on Saturday morning. However, I was only able to convince a few (sick, home, sick and home, didn't get the text, at bf's babysitting a kid, washing their hair, etc...) to join. But it was still great. Pizza and beer, what more can you ask for? And honestly catching up with a few people you care about is better than the superficial "Hi, how are you, let's catch up sometime, but I don't really mean that I just want to save face."

Legitimate friends: That's one thing I've learned a lot about this past year. You have a lot of friends, but you only have a few where you can legitimately go away for months, then come back and feel like no time has passed. I love those, and I think this summer found a few more like those. E and J from the previous summer, for sure, and K from this summer. I love it.

So Saturday. After the game with E, J, and K, we left at halftime and K and I went to continue watching some more of the anime movie he started me on this summer. Yes, anime, it's wierd, but it's got enough going on, and enough "What the FUCK?" moments to keep even me entertained. Supper, tried to get more people to go to Zombieland with us, in the end only got A. Yes, only. Finally realized I am over him. If 18 1/2 is the best he thinks he can do, he has no right to try me again, even if he wanted to. But still, a little awkward, between K and A. But fun.

Then BEEER!!! At Olde Main. I'm glad people trust my gut instincts about alcohol. The Oktoberfest from OM was delicious. I don't care whether my taste in beer (darker, but no Guinness) should be switched with a guys, I know what I like, and I like Octoberfests (but no pumpkin, get that whore imposter of a beer out of my face). It got a little interesting. Somewhere in the middle the guys (who were once again joined by E) started playing the Penis game IN THE BAR. I love my guys! The game continued into my car, yelling out the windows toward cops. Fantabulous...

Sunday:

Boring, really. Finally got my cheese things at Cafe Beaudelaire, got a Monty Python Monopoly game after spending 45 minutes at the comic book store. Had my first meal at La Fuente. Yes, I went to Iowa State for 4 years and never went there. I think that deserves an award.

Monday:

Lunch with Kelly. Had a dog chew through my laptop charging cord. Decided I temporarily hate little yippy dogs. Drive home.

All in all a pretty good trip. You learn who actually really wants to see you, or at least get out of their room. I'm starting to hate it a little bit though, because while I'm still very much single, I have the guy that I like at the moment, but because more and more of my friends are getting boyfriends and they are ALWAYS around, it's hard to gossip just a little (I am a girl, after all) around the BF. It's weird. And one friend said she lost herself once during a relationship, and it may be happening again. Hope not, but I felt very pushed to the side for the very small amount of time I was there.

So now, for the overanalysis of le boy:

He'll keep in contact, every once in a while, but no calls. Neither of us really roll that way. But he came out for the ENTIRE day on Saturday. We talked forever, never really ran out of things to say, and when we did, it wasn't awkward. He told me things that I feel... weren't necessary, if you know what I mean. Like, I don't have to know the details of how well or poorly he did his first semester back, it will not make me think any more or less of him. And what he's doing to make himself a better... person? Does dancing make you a better person? He felt bad when I mentioned a guy that had kept in contact with me, by calling, and said he was sorry he hadn't done so (but no calls so far). Little bit of angling during the movie, but we were whispering too, so it made sense. He unwaveringly trusts my judgment in beer. He had never tried the two beers he ordered Saturday, but because I was all for them, even though I even hadn't tried once, he was all for them (and liked them, so I guess it works out). But then as I dropped him off, all he said, was "See you when I see you." WTF?

So there it is. Let me know what you think. Ask about the trip. Whatevs. If you need more info, I'll be happy to provide it.

Grammar people of law school, "untie!"

This was TOO horrible not to post asap.

I'm in law school. You'd think this would mean that the correspondence we receive through the law school would be of a respectable grammatical quality, right?
Nay, nay. For I received this gem this morning whilst I was browsing in class:

Do You Still Need to Purchase a Textbook?
In preparation for next term, we will begin returning unsold textbooks

The Tufts Health Sciences campus Bookstore will start to return unsold New England School of Law textbooks on Thursday October 8, 2009

We know there may be titles not assigned until later in the term or you were holding off on purchasing a recommended title.

Please stop by The Tufts Health Sciences Bookstore or log onto whywaitforooks.com to purchase your textbooks by October 8,2009.

If you have any questions please contact the bookstore team?

Contact your store manager, Nicole Dube at 617-636-**** (To protect the innocent. And believe me, they need it!)

There are at least 3 errors in there.
I don't know why I would want to wait "fo rooks." I don't even know what "rooks" are. Chess?
Then a spacing issue, easy to miss, but I'm not giving them any slack today.
Then..... then... Are they really that confused about whether we should contact the bookstore team if we need help? Do they doubt their qualifications or ability to help us? Does this bookstore team actually exist? What if we choose the wrong answer? We could sit here all day deciding whether we are or are not supposed to actually contact the bookstore team.

May God have mercy on your souls, the "bookstore team?" of Tufts Health Sciences camupus Bookstore, may God have mercy on your grammatical souls.

See photo album

I don't really want to write a big post about last weekend, so in lieu of that, I just really annotated my FB photo album from Philadelphia. So check it out, comment to your heart's desire, etc.

Catch ya on the flip side.

So it continues...

It lives! After nearly 2 months of not posting, I am back. Not that I have a ton to report, but I will type a ton just to be sure I get everything out. THIS post is the one where EVERYTHING comes out, because only people who really want to see it can. Which means... I've deleted the auto-post and the link from FB. Enjoy!

So there I was. In a Starbucks. Next to a Dunkin' Donuts. Which was across from a Starbucks. From which you could see the next Starbucks not half a block away and which was kiddy-corner across a block from the next Starbucks/Dunkin' Donuts conglomerate.
You think I'm making this shit up?! Go back and look at the countdown album from last year. It's sick.

But I suppose I should fill you in on the end of summer. It may wax poetic a bit, but I'm not really sorry for that. This year didn't end as dramatically as last year, but that doesn't mean the summer was any less fantabulous, just a bit less drama-filled. Which was good. This summer was also the summer of putting things in the past. Mostly it was specific guys that I was leaving. HS crush, dude-across-the-hall/fuckface, the best friend and last summer. I won't really go into details, but let's just say that each of them got a demotion, some further down than others.

I wonder if I every filled ya'll in on fuckface. Nope, it appears not. Well, after I unceremoniously rejected his smarmy ass, I saw him around a LOT. A lot a lot. In the hall around K and D's rooms, when we were up LATE playing an unmentionable computer game, invited himself into one of C's parties, etc. He was never asked to not come around, but when he saw I was at the parties, after a few minutes he would leave under some pretense and not come back. Which I wasn't too upset about. The thing that caused the major demotion was one night K, C, A and I were playing foosball downstairs, having a drink or two with it, and he came around with a CHEAP bottle of rum. Drunk as a skunk and apparently high to boot. Really just a general creep-o that night. And I found out later that he stalked one of my friends back to her room to the point that she felt she needed to go to her boyfriend to make him go away. Sorry guys, what hell have I wreaked? But he's gone. Don't know whether he's still in Buchanan, but it's unlikely that I'll have to be down that hall while he's there anyway, or at least down my his room. K's up a floor and C is only half-way down the hall. yay.

Oh, I suppose I'll give you the other 3 guys. After seeing HS crush in the water up to his knees begging, even though he's basically married with a kid on the way, I was able to put him in the past. When A started going after an 18 (and a half) year-old that no-one in our group likes or thinks has any redeeming qualities (not my words, words of a dude, I swear), I realized that if that's all he thinks of himself, I'm better than that. And N. The guy I've like for SO LONG. He stopped by the end of summer and we hung out for a night, and it felt more like I was talking to Will. I was telling him about K, and pictures, and he was saying about he was excited for the high girl-to-guy ratio where he's going to be living this year. I still love him dearly, but I think I may finally be moving on. Probably why I hung on so long was because he was the only one who knew about fuckface. Now many people know and are ecstatic that I kicked him to the curb. One of many theories, I suppose.

But moving on. I've noticed that each summer is kind of defining. With the exception of right after freshman year, each summer has had a theme. After Sr. yr of HS, finishing FFA, 4-H and getting ready for ISU. Soph yr was the lost summer where I learned a lot about how I work and deal. Jr yr was the time I had a job I LOVED, writing for the local paper, and I kicked ass at it too. Sr yr was the stereotypical get drunk/party/rock out, and this was putting things in the past.

But back to this summer. Epic, once again. Made new friends, hung out with the old, didn't have the week-long binges like last year, avoided most boy drama, got a tan, worked out, shot off fireworks...

OK so fireworks deserves it's only paragraph. Got fireworks down in MO, but didn't shoot a ton of them off until the 4th. The 4th my family always goes to the farm of a family friend, to cook out and watch and catch up with lots of people, and of course watch the Grand Mound fireworks. When I was little the guys wouldn't let the girls shoot off fireworks and it was all so controlled. Now, most of the "kids" have grown up so when I showed up with my bag of fireworks, the guys just handed me a propane torch and said "Have fun, we're taking turns!" I love how things have turned out.

...dorked out again. I love hanging out with the kinda dorky guys, what can I say? Why I'm not more into computers or science or own an Xbox is beyond me. We went shooting again... when I finally get a more permanent place, my targets (both paper and the laptop screen) will be up on the wall. Bowling. Bowling was fun. I need to do it more often.

I also picked up on the most random tidbits of information this summer. Some of them good, some of them dorky, and all of them rather interesting. For example:
1. When I am driving, (which won’t be for much longer) I keep thinking on the cloverleaf exits that if I were in a bike race, I would be penalized or kicked out for going over the line. Doesn’t mean it still doesn’t happen.
2. In chats, such as on Facebook or Gmail, I now find myself typing / to start talking, and pressing esc. to make the chatbox go away. I won’t say which game that is from, but it’s a certain often-mentioned, often-dissed (including by me until recently) online game.
3. In relation to the last one, I woke up after a dream about me killing phones to “aquire,” like, the cords or something and to make them stop ringing. However, there was an actual phone ringing in real life… the wake up phone call. Fml.

But I suppose you want to hear about school, eh? It's school, you know how it is... Oh wait, you wanted more? *huff* fine.
T'was a curious drive out to Boston. Eating crap for the last week (Jeff's at 2 am anyone?) I was in Ames then not eating at all because of nerves = no good. It rained a lot. I drove some. Whatevs.

But I'm "moved in" with a fantastic friend from last year. I quote "moved in" because the girl whose room I'm moving into hasn't gotten her stuff out, which I can deal with, but I'm way excited to get it all neat and clean and... it'll be fairly sparse, but I've learned to deal with less for now. I'm not really in the picture-taking mood right now, but I may break that because of wanting to show it off. Like: "See, I can be domestic, just not when people tell me to be, so you can go make your own damn sammich."

The commute's not bad, about 45 minutes, which now that I have my mp3 back up and running with a podcast to catch up on, it should be even better.
The school continues to be FUCKING FREEZING. It was not even September and I already had a fucking sweatshirt in my locker to I wouldn't pop up in goosebumps and more less than 10 minutes into class or during my study marathons in the library.
Class you ask?

Business organizations I have with Finneran, the prof I had for contracts last year. It's pretty boring so far, but she's entertaining enough to keep us awake. I keep calling that class contracts still though, but my friends have learned what I mean.

Land Use is with Bobrowski, also another professor from last year. He seems a lot more into this class than he did property, maybe because we actually want to be there. But the class is going to be a lot about zoning, so I'm going to try to keep the fact that my dad is the, well, County Zoning Administrator back home under wraps. I mean, it'll help me on the paper, but I don't want him thinking I know things, because I don't really. That's right, awesome me, being humble... such an odd moment, I know...

The last class with a professor from last year is Evidence with Hansen. Not bad. Nothing much to report.

Admiralty. Very excited about that class. I know, what's a chick from Iowa doing in a fucking admiralty class? I don't know exactly. It might be to brag, it might be to be weird. Either way, I'm happy.
And the damn writing and research class. I HATE IT. THAT IS ALL.
But I'd forgotten how insanely *tired* law school makes me. And partly it's because I get horrid habits over the summers, staying up til 4, sleeping til 1:30... But all the reading and research now... just makes me more tired.

But the fact that I am amused by the most random things keeps me a little bit more awake. And that my professors are entertaining. Like in evidence, when Hansen said “Every town has a nut, and unfortunately, every nut has rights.” I know ALL about the town yahoos. In Calamus, there was a guy who blogged that a frog had told him to put an anti-psychotic drug in the town watertower because they were all crazy. A frog. And yes, true story. I think he’s in a “facility” now, and all the better, because along with all of that he had a video camera set up in his front door, which was right on main street. Creeper.

Then there’s the lady that tried to tell half of Clinton County that my dad didn’t exist. Pretty sure he does, or I’m also crazy and an immaculate conception. There’s a 13 year age difference from my oldest aunt to my dad, so someone who knows ‘Laina may not have known my dad when they were in school, but he exists, I swear, just got an email from him…

But I feel like this year is going to fly by. It's already the second week of school, and with me already planning Christmas vacation (Ames for at least 2 weeks total, anyone in?) and other things, I certain hope things go fast.

Random tangent alert: Another thing summer does to me is make me lose my handwriting. I work so hard on it over the course of the school year, then I rarely handwrite during the summer. And yes, I am one of the fairly rare breed who always take notes by hand. There will be some exceptions, of course, such as Land Use, where all the cases are online, but otherwise by hand. What can I say? I'm old-fashioned.

In other news, I am a dork. Of the Oddest variety. Why I didn't go into computer or design is beyond me (still). I love the odd guys, casual gamers, and I, as a girl, always feel I must prove my worth against the boys in games. But this next tidbit takes the lego-themed wedding cake.


(ummmm... want?)

I love this song. I was introduced to it mid-summer by K, and every once in a while it'll pop into my head or get sent to me and it's lodged in my head for awhile. But this most recent time I'm glad it happened. It finally got a highly repetitive Ben Folds song that the nearly non-existant 3rd roommate played about 20 times over 2 days. le sigh. I am a dork. But I'm more than ok with it. And December will bring even more nerd-dom. 1 word. BlackAcre.

And there's more to the BlackAcre story, of course. Blackacre is the fictional plot of land that is constantly getting traded when you're talking about property in law. And it will be the name of my new character in WoW. Yes, I play wow, I won't even try to deny it anymore. It was so I would have something to do this summer instead of watching my boys play and be so annoying just sitting and watching over their shoulders. And it doesn't hurt that the guy I currently like, K, is/was big into it. I learn a lot. I apparently like to listen to lectures from guys. First N, now K. Ah well, I am a girl, I suppose.

So all is well on the roaming ctina front. I promise I'll be back in Iowa. I think one of my things making me want to go back so badly is that I'm so fiercely loyal to my friends. I'd not be who I am today without them, so I want to be there for them like I feel they were for me.

So yeah. That's going to be all for now. An edited version will go on FB, but yeah.

All will be well

So I think I finally have this phase of my life over with. After two entire years of hating myself for what I did with fuckface, I have finally talked to him face to face and made peace. Although I think part of this is because I now have the power over him. Which is completely ironic.

So you may or may not have heard about the one-night-stand I had with the guy from my class a couple years ago, where technically I said yes, but it was one of those things that I hated...

But this weekend apparently I grew a pair of large, golden balls that I've needed for the last 2 years. I was planning and attending a frat party, but met up with some friends who later kidnapped me from said party after I returned. By then I was fairly drunk and decided I needed to finally deal with this horrid memory head-on. So I started texting him, telling him we were at Cys. He showed up, and we talked for a bit.

Now please, do not yell at me, because I know that I put myself in this situation. But still. Continuing.

I should have known. I should have gotten the hint while he was trying to take my hand and lead me out of the bar, but I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Got back to Buchanan eventually, after running into Josh, Andy and Jailbait outside of the frat. I thought I was making it extraordinarily obvious with my body language that I was not going to do anything, sitting backwards on the chair, crossing my arms, etc. But no, he kept pushing and pushing and moving my arms so that he could kiss me and such. He was saying that he actually liked me and was all in, I was cute, etc, but by this point in my life I'm so jaded all I could hear was "Blah blah blah I'm a man whore and I want to get laid tonight." So finally after I forced him off me and grabbed my purse, I got out of there and went home. He kept texting me, telling me to come back and "talk," but no, I stayed away. And in the morning, after waking up and coming to a few more of my senses, I sent a nice (hopefully) text saying something like "I do believe you, but even if you are in it for more, I'm seriously out. Sorry." I don't believe him, but as the one with the power now I felt like I had to be a bit nice.

So yeah. I don't go around trying to gain power over guys, but the two who did have the slight bit I couldn't get rid of, I've taken down in a 1-2 punch the last 2 weekends. I think I can move on now.

But it's still weird. The guy I currently like in the immediate vicinity and I are friends, but there is no way I'm going to put myself out there. But how ironic, that I'm so afraid of rejection that I'm the one doing all the rejecting lately?

All my ex's live in... Iowa. fuck

Where to start? Well, I guess it's safe to say that this post is going to be completely vague and go in lots of circles, and isn't going up til the people who want to know or should know what's going on do. I should also say that due to the very private and secret nature of this one, I've decided to stop importing to Facebook. So if you read this, you are now in a very elite category of people who... actually care!

It all started in November 2007. Got drunk at a tasting at Cyclone Liquors, with a friend, ran into a guy from class, shit went down, I ended up hating what I had done (and you can all reasonably guess that that was, technically I said yes, but I wasn't really ready) and so I stopped calling, stopped answering, I handled it horribly, but the only way I knew how. I knew I wasn't ok, but as long as I avoided the whole situation, I was ok. I even got everything out of my system by venting *everything* to a very close group of friends, so I thought I was progressing.

Then last Monday night. Random guy stopped by my friends room to see what the ruckus was about. It took my about 4 seconds to realize it was fuckface, and only 2 more seconds to retreat to the connecting room and commence freak-out.

I should be over that, I should not have freaked out like that, that was nearly 2 years ago. But that started and ended so badly and abruptly and I was not prepared to see him that I just didn't have time to rationalize my reaction. And now I saw him more in 2 days than I had in a year and a half. And now it sucks, because I have to look down the hall to make sure he isn't there or prepare myself for the first contact. I need to get over it. Not forgive, but move on.

Speaking of moving on. Anybody here go back home for their hometown festivals much? I have been there most years except last year, when I didn't go home from Christmas to August. Then this year. Then this year...

K, or any other members of the SATC group, if you haven't gotten what I will refer to as THE story, stop reading. If you have, then continue, this is just a recap.

You know how we all have that high-school fantasy, the one where you dream that it would come true, but you know it never will? And you also know how at the beginning of a night where you plan to get drunk, you make the joking statements about what you might do or wish would happen? Well, both kinda happened.

My oldest friend S and I were just going to get drunk uptown at the Calamus Days street dance. What else was there to do? We pre-gamed with some strawberry schnapps and lemonade and some Bud Light, which I usually hate, but in cans, was not so bad. Head up town, on the way there, we're talking about where some of the people from HS were and who they were dating and so on... I had a huge crush on a guy back in HS and it was pretty certain that at some point he would be uptown too that night. So I made the joke that "Can I just get drunk and makeout with a [insert last name here] twin?!"

The night wore on, we continued to drink and drink and get rained on and drink and dance and the band was pretty good and we ran into people we had hung out at on the 4th of July and eventually we made our way into the only bar with the rest of the drunks. Ran into another classmate of ours and did some shots, at one point I had both [insert last name here] twins around me and obviously flirting. When we finally got thrown out of the bar, the twin I liked way back (we'll call him... Brian) was standing next to me and rubbing my back and all that, saying that he might be in Ames the next day for a "HVAC seminar". Asked if I wanted to "take a walk," and I said yes, but trying to say, I hope you don't think this is going where I think you think it's going. Down the block he took my hand, and kissed me. Actually fantastic, I have to admit. Made our way to the back of the Fire Station and the LP tank. Lots of standing in water, as the rain had puddled there. Long story short, shirt was off, etc, he definitely tried to get me to sleep with him. I don't want to degrade him at all, but there was begging and sweet talking and I could tell that he still actually wanted me. But I couldn't. This actually goes back to fuckface.

Because I was so incredibly drunk that night, I've made it a rule for myself that the first time with a guy will not be when either of us are drunk, and "Brian" and I were smashed. I tried to tell him that, and if things had been different, it might have happened. But not then. I hated myself for fuckface, and I didn't want to hate myself for "Brian".

But I'm leaving the best part for last, and yes, I knew this the whole time, and factored in to my decision slightly. He has a, ah, very long-term, live-in relationship. She has at least 2 kids, not by "Brian", but she now has one on the way that she says is his. He says he doesn't quite trust her, but yeah. So I made out with him. I didn't let him cheat. And it's complicated... oh so complicated...

But moving on, even with the title of the post... Last summer's psuedo-ex. Has a new lady friend. Who is 18... and a half. Like, she introduces herself as that. I'm sorry, but if you feel the need to introduce yourself in half years, you're just not quite ready to level up yet. But this has had the happy coincidence of ruining any chance he had or wanted with me.

Which probably happened awhile ago anyway. But the reason I know now is because I certainly have my sights set on another. And this time, finally again, for the first time since "Brian", a guy I like is actually older than me. And this time, by quite a bit. I don't want to get into it quite yet, one, because I don't know where I'll be in a month, and two, because I don't want for it to seem like it's retaliatory for the 18 1/2 year old. But it's fun, we've become grand friends. And what's it mean when you catch him just looking up at you for extended periods of time? huh, another question for another night, I suppose. Because this post is already far too long.

g'night!

Tired of my hair color

Guys, if you read this, you will be bored shitless. Except for the end. Near the picture. Skip to there. Don't say I didn't warn you...

Yup, you guessed it. I dyed it again. Now normally, this is just something I do every once in a while, ya know, to change up the everyday. But in this last one, I think I may have realized something.

Each time I go to dye it, it's at the start of something new. Whether it's a new semester, a new school year, or I'm just wanting to make a good impression, I dye it for occasions. Starting my junior year of college. I mean, I did it in high school when I was trying to change my image a little, but I stopped. I've always gone red. Well, the first time wasn't my choice, but I still ended up loving it. It was for a conference where we had costumes. Our school's theme was X-Men, and I was Jean Grey. Red hair. Bright red hair. So that was really the start of my time in Res Hall government. The *start*. Then beginnings of semesters, like with Dirk Deam and I felt different hair would make me more confident. Not so much, but yeah. Beginnings. I held off on it in the fall semester because I hated where I was. I think I finally dyed it when I accepted that I was stuck there for the year. Then, for Spring Break. that was a stupid reason to dye it, but none-the-less. Things were going to change one way or the other and I knew it. Now, they changed for *the other,* but still.

So this last time. I must really be wanting to make changes. Well, I've already changed one thing about my life, and I think I'm finally accepting things. That and one of my friend got me on this kick and now I going to try to reach that goal, and going for dark hair is one step closer. And dark. Not red/brown/auburn. Brown. Love it. But, off the tanget, I dye it when things are new, or when I think things are going to change. And right now, I kind of like this change. Or maybe I'm just being a girl and I will have a completely different mindset next week. I hope not. Unless action is taken, I don't think it will be different. Besides, I know what (who?) I want, so I shouldn't worry about others. Although this may be a try to differentiate myself from others. I've known that part for awhile. But on the other side, I was just tired of being a dirty blonde. There are too many of those around. The only thing is that I really need to tan for it to look good.

So yeah. Told you boys (if you actually got to this point) it would be boring. Girls and their hair, very personal.

In other news, (not very interesting news) I'm jacking up my work out. In 2 days I upped my total time by 2/3. Now instead of 3 sets of 8 minutes on eliptical with a set of 20/10/20/20/10 in between, now it's 5 sets of 8 with the same after. Woohoo. I can feel it. After the second day of ramping, I HURT, but I'm better. Musculosos I never knew existed are coming through, which is awesome...

Uhm... yeah. Saw Transformers at the midnight showing! Awesome!!! I want to see it in IMAX now, but no-one wants to go with me... sad day.

The pits are now warm enough for daily swimming!!!

Went shooting with one of my friends the other day. AR-15. Did pretty well. The first two times I got all my shots on the target!!! Couldn't tell after that because of sharing, but it's going up on my wall...



Soo tired now. Going to bed.